I don't want that last post to be my LAST POST. I am taking a few days away to get my mind straight. Ever since I talked about my son Jason, I've been very confused and conflicted. I should of never shared that part of my life here. I have done things I wish I could take back and I'll do what I can to fix it. I am a damn fool for letting things get to me, but I listened to the voices. I am so PROUD to be a part of this group of Patriots. I don't always do the right thing and I suffer for it. Hurting friends is my biggest mistake. I'm a mess right now. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm afraid I have and I deeply regret it. I'm not that kind of person, but yet I AM right now. I'm in conflict with myself, not you. I miss my son very much, even after 30 some years. God took him for HIS own good, but it hurt me just the same. I just can't accept that, and it has affected my mind and my actions. I feel HATE and I don't like it one damn bit. I've let everyone down with my negativity. I'd ask for forgiveness, but that is something I'll have to earn back. I can't face you guys right now. I said I was leaving, but you know I can't do that. I love you guys. You've shown me love & friendship, even when I was not worthy of it. I'm so sorry I let you down! I just need time to get my feelings under control again. I'm normally a happy person, but not right now. I have more talking with God to do. I've let him down too. When I come back, I'll be myself again. I'm following the light, but it seems so far away. All I can say is I WILL BE BACK. Please don't hate me for being human.
I wish you all a very happy 4th and wish I were here to share it with you. Hug your children and tell them how much you love them. God Bless.
